(This is a guest post) A beginners guide to identifying toxic relationships; what they are, who they can be with and most importantly how to get out of them! This is sex and relationships education every woman needs to hear.
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A toxic relationship is an interaction with other people that at a certain point they start affecting your relationship with other people in your life, they make you feel stress or even make you feel like they are constantly making decisions in your life for you.
We are pretty sure you have heard of this term before, but you are not completely sure if you know someone in your life that behaves like this.
Toxic relationship tends to be in many parts of our lives, either in a bigger part or small like maybe family or friendship but we can see them the most while dating.
Have you ever felt like you are in a toxic relationship?
At some point you might have felt suffocated, that your privacy was invaded or maybe questioned your personal decisions and you might not have noticed it.
This kind of relationship always show signals, however sometimes you cannot see them. And this tends to happen because you are in the relationship and you have it right in front of you so that you can’t see the full picture.
How can you know that a you are in a “toxic relationship”?
1. They start stealing your time with others
At first it’s only small moments of “jealousy” that they don’t want you to hang out with some of your friends or to go to a party with only your friends because other people might flirt with you.
But with time it starts to grow like, they don’t want you to spend time with any other person but only them, sometimes they might get angry because you spend time with your family or hang out with your friends by yourself.
With time they only want you to be with them;THAT YOU DEDICATE ALL OF YOUR TIME TO THEM. Not only that but you trying to go out with friends and family starts causing fights in the relationship.
2. Giving them your phone and social media password.
This is a very controversial topic.
Now smartphones and social media are part of every person and sometimes even part of every relationship. #GoalCouple
And we are not saying that is wrong, but it gets complicated when they start demanding your phone or social media password.
Why? Well everyone deserves privacy, especially in your social media. They are yours at the end of the day, and you are completely free to post, like and talk to whoever you want.
To talk to friends that you might not be able to see often, or just to have your regular “friend therapy” where you can just unwind with them.
By demanding your password, they are invading your privacy and not trusting you, which is a big issue because every relationship should be based on trust.
Yes, even money becomes an issue.
You are your own boss. You earn your own money, that you can spend however you want in which ever you want for you or even for others. Maybe a small present for your family here and there.
But when you are in this kind of relationship, you might earn the money, but they don’t let you spend it how you want.
What you might want, they can make you feel guilty for buying it or if you are thinking of getting something, they might even convince you to not get it.
And at the end you might end up buying something that you don’t want but something that they like.
4. They belittle you
They start belittling every achievement that you make; your words or opinions don’t matter to them.
And you certainly cannot give your opinion on their life. Having a disagreement with them just makes them feel attacked and they can start to blackmail you in different ways.
They can pretend to feel sad or hurt to make you feel like you are the one that has to apologize even if you are the victim.
And the thing is at some point, for different reason and on different moment in our lives we might have had these attitudes of a toxic person.
When do you need help?
If you have ever felt like this it is a signal that you need to break this relationship.
These kinds of relationships tend to have “peak” times, where people around you start seeing clearly when you are getting hurt.
• They choose how your dress, or how you do your make up
• They belittle you
• Start humiliating you in front of friends and family and start minimizing your emotions by telling you that you are exaggerating.
• The discussion ends up with you feeling guilty or apologizing
• They emphasize YOUR mistakes
• You guys never discuss a problem out of fear that they get angry.
• They ask you for things or favors in a bad way
• Force you to be intimate
All of this take us to the next question...
Is it possible to break out of a toxic relationship... and how?
Like we mentioned before toxic relationship might exist everywhere; in your family, friends, with your partner.
At every relationship at the beginning you only show the very best of you and to until certain level you might even “satisfy” the other person.
But it gets tricky when you start feeling suffocated or that you are no longer capable of making a decision in your personal life.
The biggest advice that we can give is you can’t do this by yourself, not because you are not able, but because a toxic person, especially in a relationship, might go overboard to make you stay in the relationship.
That’s why we advise to look for either professional help, or just tell people around you, friends and family.
“Relapsing” is kind of common in this relationship because the toxic person in the relationship makes their partner feel like the bad in the story and create guilt; making them feel bad and tricking you into being together.
BUT the support of friends and family can help you stay away from this kind of relationship and break out of it. And after this you need to realize that ONLY YOU are in charge of your life, to know what you should do, or shouldn’t do.
Once you establish this you might start detecting a toxic person with more clarity.
Guest Blogger Biography
Denisse and Karina are two twenty-something women trying to figure out how the whole adulting world works out and blogging about it in their blog www.adultingaround.com were they talk from not knowing what are you doing with your life to traveling and achievement in your life.