3 Keys to Long Lasting Relationships

Discover the 3 secrets to long lasting relationships! Read all about what SHOULD be doing to ensure long term relationship success and which habits to leave behind for good.



(This blog may include affiliate links click here to read my full disclosure policy)


We all want our relationships to last, we want them to stand the test of time and go from strength to strength. BUT it’s hard, it’s bloody HARD to keep things ticking along and make sure everyone is happy as much as possible.


When you Google “the secret to long term relationships” the usual suspects come up- quality time, good communication, making sure intimacy remains a priority and both partners being invested.


Annoyingly these articles don’t really tell you the practical steps to ensuring all of these balls remain in the air at once.


For example, they speak about the importance of quality time but don’t explain how you’re supposed to make time for quality time with everything else going on!




How to remain connected in a long term relationship


In an effort to demystify all these components of a healthy, long-term relationship I created a couples course which deals with everything mentioned above and more!


The course walks couples through five simple steps helping them tackle the reality of the “relationship slump.” We talk about communication, setting tangible goals for your relationship, identifying what needs improving asap, how to bring the spark back into the bedroom and I answer that question- how DO you make time when there’s not enough hours in the day?


The main result of The Connection Booster course? You’ll feel CONNECTED and PRESENT in your relationship. You won’t just be in that state of milling along, where your relationship feels stagnant and isn’t a priority AT ALL.


You’ll feel connected to your partner, you’ll be on the same page and you’ll be excited about the future again!


The course goes on sale for the final time at a low price of £22 on 19th October (the course will never be this price again!) If you’re interested in getting first in line to know more about the course and find out when it’s open to enroll sign up here:




In the meantime, I thought I’d share some truths about long lasting relationships that WE ALL (I include myself in this) need to hear once in a while.


These are 3 things you can begin focusing in on TODAY to make a tangible difference to the health of your relationship.


Unfortunately it’s super easy in long term relationships to get lazy and careless. When you’re secure in your relationship (which is an awesome thing) it’s easy to stop making an effort. Your energy and focus can shift from your relationship, and your partner, to other areas of your life where you feel improvement is more significant or necessary.


However progression in a relationship is just as important as any other area of your life; a common reason couples feel disconnected (and even break up) is because they grow apart.


None of us want this so let’s get reading and learn about the secrets to long term success!




3 Keys to Long Term Relationship Success


Commitment


If you want a happy and long lasting relationship both partners need to be committed and invested.


As relationships are so personal it’s worth asking yourself, what does commitment look like for us? How do I know my partner is committed to me? How do I show my commitment to them?


Often we can think we have this “commitment” thing down but then you realise you stopped showing up a LONG time ago- showing up for your partner, your relationship and your future.




This can happen when we put more effort into working all the hours possible, when we prioritise seeing friends over quality time with our loved one, when we are always looking outside of our relationship instead of taking a lot inside.


It just takes a moment to step outside of the relationship to see how invested you’ve actually been and whether you need to improve on this.


FYI: This is why The Connection Booster is a couples course. I’m all about being INTENTIONAL with progress- that is walking the walk not just talking the talk- and so I created a course that couples could do together. I can guarantee NOTHING will change if only one person is making an effort. Your efforts won’t be sustainable if everything is one-sided unfortunately, you both need to be invested.


Also- importantly- I survey every single person in my audience and this is what the majority asked for- something you could work on and work through together.


So here it is :)





Intimacy


Intimacy is so much more than sex- I’ll begin by stating that. We often can get hooked on the “need” for sexual intimacy that we forget to ensure we’re incorporating all forms of intimacy into our relationship.


It’s all important- the hand holding, the head strokes, the cuddling, the choosing to sit next to each other, the time alone at night without the kids.


Whatever it looks like for you, intimacy is really important to remaining connected with your partner.


Ask yourself, when was the last time you were intimate with your partner? When did you last feel really connected? How do you show your love and connection to them?





Communication


THE BIG C. When I surveyed my audience here the majority of you said communication was an area of contention in your relationships.


I think communication going awry at best comes down to comfort levels (we forget our tone when we’re perfectly at ease with our partner) and at worst comes down to complacency (we don’t care how we sound or the effect we have on our partner).


The first one can be fixed (the second needs more tailored support) with a simple check in. Ask yourself, how can I deliver this message kindly? Am I respecting my partners boundaries and needs at this moment? How does this sound to my partner?


It sounds floaty but just being aware of how you speak to your partner can have a huge positive impact on your relationship.


I know that when I ask my partner if he could please pick his socks up it goes down a lot better than saying something like, OH YOUR SOCKS? DO THEY LIVE ON THE SOFA NOW?? DO THEY?


You see what I mean? Passive aggressiveness is never a good look.


And it’s worth noting, one of the most successful communication tools for couples EVER is a big part of The Connection Booster course.


I walk you through it and show you how to manipulate the tool to benefit your relationship so you begin communicating with love instead of conflict.