How to Set Goals That Will Revolutionise Your Love Life

Learn how to easily set impactful and exciting goals to get that spark back and improve your sex and relationships ASAP. Get the advice you need to get your love life back on track!

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So, just a heads up, if you haven’t read the blog about why you should be planning your sex life click here because that’s the starter to this main babe!

Today we’re going to talk about goal setting and why it’s important and we’re going to try not to SIGH in boredom, kay?

We’re going to tackle that age-old question- how do I bring the honeymoon period back?

AND, we’re about to make our relationships fresh, exciting and fulfilling again! So strap in (or on, whatever)

Why You Need to Set Goals in Your Sex and Relationships

As I mentioned in my blog about sex life planning, planning and setting goals is about being informed and intentional with your sex life- it’s how you move forward.

There’s a lot of support in The Ultimate Sex Life Planner for setting goals but honestly, you could just fill in the planner and then leave it there. BUT nothing will change.

Without using your newfound awareness to set quality, attainable goals you won’t become any closer to a sex life that works for YOU.

That sex life of your dreamzzz.

Sex life planning gives you all the juice… you just need to use it.

And yes, there are some folk who think you don’t need to set goals in your love life, that you should naturally be amazing at lovin’ and you should be able to keep it fresh all by yourself.

BUT I’m not one of those people and if you’re here I’m hoping you’re not either!

Because at The Good Sex we recognise that everyone needs a helping hand from time to time- no shame in that game babe!- AND we believe you shouldn’t have to jump through hurdles to get that support.

So, goal setting is the EASIEST way to up your sex and relationships game, just give me a sec to show you how!

How to Set Goals for Your Sex and Relationships

So, you’ve completed The Ultimate Sex Life Planner, but HOW do you translate what you’ve discovered into real results?

Firstly, you need to identify a struggle.

A struggle could be:

1. A stress point that has stuck out to you whilst working through The Ultimate Sex Life Planner

2. Something you recognise needs working on immediately

3. The reason you came to The Good Sex and/ or sex life planning originally

4. Something you can create a solid plan to change

Examples of struggles:

* I don’t know what I like in the bedroom

* I’m not sexually attracted to my partner anymore

* I can’t bring myself to masturbate

* I can’t reach the BIG O

Once you’ve identified your initial struggle you’re going to fix it using what you’ve discovered through the planner and an awesome- made by my fair hands- guided goal setting worksheet.

We’re going to create some impactful and attainable goals easy peasy.

And, we’re going to do it by working SMART.

How to Work SMART to Achieve Your Goals

SMART goal setting helps you structure your goals so…

* They feel do-able

* They’re trackable

* You’re held accountable

The SMART method involves you breaking down your goal into 5 stages. They are:


This is where it’s going to help if you put lots of detail into your answers in The Ultimate Sex Life Planner because a vague goal is an unachievable one. If you’re not specific enough with what you actually want to achieve, it’ll always feel half complete and like the target is moving.

Think about…

What do you actually want to achieve?

How/ When/ Where?

What will the results look like?

What external factors do you need to take into account?

How might you overcome limitations and barriers?


Make sure there are real results involved in your goal- don’t con yourself out of progression by making goals that are flimsy or don’t impact your life in any significant way.

Set goals that serve you and when you actually achieve them you’ll FEEL it!

Think about…

What will success look/ feel like?

How will you know when you’ve achieved what you set out to do?

Can you break your goal down into measurable pieces?


I know it’s super tempting to make grand assertions about what’s about to happen and what you can achieve... BUT you’re setting yourself up to fail if you set goals that don’t account for where you’re at right now and what you can actually achieve from this place here and now.

Think about…

How much time and effort you’ll need to put in to make this goal a reality?

Where are you now? And, how will you get to where you want to be from this point exactly?

What support will you need to achieve this goal?


Also known as ‘RELEVANT’ this is about assessing how your goal fits into your life. Don’t do yourself a disservice by creating a goal that you’ll never stick too because although it sounds good on paper you’re actually not that bothered about it.

Think about…

Is this goal actually relevant to your overall plans/ aims?

Is this goal going to make a significant impact to your life?

Is it worth aiming for?

Why do you want to achieve this goal?

What is the motivation behind this goal?

Related: 3 Things You Need to Ask Every Partner Before Having Sex


This is hugely important in successful goal setting- have a deadline and stick to it! I recommend in The Ultimate Sex Life Planner that you start by setting goals with short time frames so they feel attainable and you can track them without feeling overwhelmed. Get a few goals under your belt, allow your confidence to increase, build the momentum and keep your motivation ticking!

Think about…

How much time do you realistically need to achieve this goal?

How much time and effort can you give to working on this?

Do you need to set mini deadlines so you can track your progress?