Discover how to use a sex and relationships planner to boost your love life today. Relationship tips for every woman are nestled inside your FREE sex and relationships planner and this blog will explain how and why!
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So, a little disclaimer to throw out there before we begin- when I’m talking about ‘planning’ I’m not asking you to grab your diaries and pencil in your sexy time or throw all spontaneity out of the window! Using a sex and relationships planner is far more fun than that I PROMISE.
But, Isn’t Planning Your Sex Life Kind of Lame?
Yeah, sounds it doesn't it?
I'm not going to lie and say it'll be the most exciting time of your life BUT I can promise you it will help your love life 1000000000%, trust me.
To put it into perspective- sex life planning is like planning in any other area of your life you want to improve- your career, finance, meals, fitness- it’s about taking some time, getting informed and then being intentional.
It gives you the information you need to create necessary change, to get real results and ultimately it’s about making life EASIER and creating more SATISFACTION.
So planning your sex and relationships isn’t about being a control freak; it’s about going back to basics and diving deeper so you can build something beautiful. Something TAILOR-MADE.
Tip! Your FREE sex and relationships planner is waiting for you at the bottom of this blog (just putting it out there in case you’re ready to nab that planner RIGHT NOW!)
Why Should YOU Bother?
If you want to create a love life that is tailor made to your wants and needs like I did (read how EXACTLY here!)
Then sex life planning is your first step.
This is because you can't move forward with ANYTHING in life if you don't know where you're at right now. You need to sit back, do a little soul searching, take stock of where you are and then you can push on.
The Ultimate Sex Life Planner (my baby creation eek!) will support you to do this. It's the ULTIMATE sex life planner for a reason- it doesn't pull any punches!
You'll be guided through discovering what partner is right for you, what you've been missing all this time and what you actually need in a relationship to keep you ticking...PLUS, you'll be supported to create some simple goals so you can put what you've discovered into some actionable steps.
So, Who Needs to Start Planning their Sex Life Exactly?
Is everyone too broad an answer?
Okay, okay I’ll narrow it down…You will DEFINITELY benefit from doing a spot of sex life planning if:
1. Your sex life is in the slumps and you can’t remember where you left that darn “spark”
2. You want to get to know yourself sexually (oh la la!)
3. You’re a busy babe and you want a quick and painless way to revitalise your sex and relationships (not to mention a tool you can use over and over again)
4. You’re just a seriously brave bad*ss who wants to ensure her sex life is as amazing as it possibly can be!
Regardless of your reason for being here, for taking on THE CHALLENGE, sex life planning will work for you. I guarantee you that.
If you show up and put some elbow grease into it, you'll walk away from using a sex life planner with new knowledge that you can use to rebuild your sex life around YOUR wants and needs.
But, as with every tool in life, it’s only as good the lady holding it (or something along those cliché lines) so stick around for some hot tips to help you on your way.
6 Tips You Need Before Diving into Sex Life Planning
So I’ve organised a few tips for you (6 to be exact) to support you in this planning game, after you’ve read these you’ll be ready to download your copy of The Ultimate Sex Life Planner (made with my own fair hands, hooray!)
1. Answer ALL the questions
To get maximum results- maximum insight- don’t skip any questions!
Every question in every kind of planner is there for a reason; they’re there to squeeze every drop of information and goodness out of you so you can then build something BRILLIANT.
So, please answer ALL of the questions. And, do so honestly.
In The Ultimate Sex Life Planner by yours truly there are 31 questions....now, I understand this may seem like A LOT but they were all selected because they each give a slightly different insight into your sex and relationships, yet together they offer a very thorough picture of your current situation.
The questions work together to get to the real nitty gritty- use them! Answer them all!
2. Don't run away
So, as we’ve covered, these questions are designed to pull stuff out of you- the intimate, grizzly stuff you might not want to share. Unfortunately to make the most out of sex life planning you’ll have to unearth some of that stuff.
Home truths aren’t particularly pleasant, but they are USEFUL so stick with them. You know what they say- lean into the discomfort.
When I completed The Ultimate Sex Life Planner it took me like a week because it was HARD with a capital ‘H.’ I was connecting the dots, noticing patterns in my behaviour and realising things I hadn’t previously.
This is GOOD.
Take as long as you need and don’t be scared to push yourself and explore- like I said before, the more you put in the more you’ll get out.
3. Look after yourself
A nice little follow up from me telling you to get stuck in there and JUST DO IT, is self care.
Whenever we try to do something to improve our lives we start by focusing on what’s not good and this can make us feel a bit disheartened and bruised.
By spending some focused time sex life planning you’re going to be concentrating on where the gaps are, what’s turning you off and what needs to change- make sure you’re looking after yourself while you’re doing this work.
You need to take your time, have breaks, digest what’s coming to the surface and what you’re learning. Self care is my BUZZ WORD for a reason- it’s what keeps us ticking!
Look after yourself whilst your diving deep, don’t trigger or overwhelm yourself for the sake of speeding through the process.
4. It's good to share
You don’t have to keep this whole shabang a secret, there’s nothing shameful in moving forward in your sex and relationships! It might actually benefit you to talk to your partner/s about what you’re doing- or even involve them in the process.
Eventually I would love to bring a couples version of The Ultimate Sex Life Planner to all you girls because I know a lot of you are part of a partnership and are seeking help for that partnership.
But for now, use what you’ve got! Invite your partner to fill in the planner with you, use the questions as a springboard for new conversations and a catalyst for change.
The questions in The Ultimate Sex Life Planner are so open you could work through them together or just pick a select few to pose to your partner and gain some new insight.
Sex life planning can be used as a safe and easy way to get in and navigate an important conversation.
Related: As well as using The Ultimate Sex Life Planner as a springboard for new conversations with your partner/s I've got some extra tools in my freebie library specifically to help couples! Take a look here!
5. Pay attention
In a similar vein to sticking with the discomfort, this is about taking the time to reflect on what you’re discovering. There’s no point in spending time filling in a sex life planner if you’re not going to pay attention to what you’ve written and take the time to reflect and learn.
You wouldn’t write a whole meal plan and then go and cook something completely different would you?
Spend some real time deciphering what you’ve come up with- why do you feel this way? Why did you shudder when you saw the word ‘VAGINA’ in big bold letters on the page?
Sex life planning isn’t rocket science but it takes focus and effort.
And remember, there’s a lot of emotions wrapped up in sex and relationships.
We’re all supposed to just deal with it; be naturally at peace with our bodies, know how to DO SEX successfully and understand how to navigate our relationships easily BUT NO ONE TEACHES US HOW.
So your responses may surprise you- that’s okay, cut yourself some slack, pay attention and allow yourself to dig deeper.
6. Do something about it
Once you start paying attention to what you’re writing you’ll discover things that you want to change, things that NEED to improve RIGHT AWAY. So, what do you do then?
Well, this is where goal setting slides in (I tried to make it sound sexy but it’s just not, sorry babe).
Setting some actual, real life goals is how you translate what you’ve learned into results- it’s how sex life planning becomes even more purposeful.
In The Ultimate Sex Life Planner I added in a BONUS goal setting worksheet because I didn’t want to leave you all high and dry, revelations coming out your ears with no resolutions- no way to move forward.
So the deal is, you fill in the questions, you reflect on your answers and then you use them to create goals for the future.
And, don’t worry the goal setting worksheet in The Ultimate Sex Life Planner has lots of guidance on this- goal setting has never been so easy peasy!
Ready, Set, PLAN!
CONGRATULATIONS on making it to the end of this extremely long blog (hooray!) and congrats for actually going in, for biting the bullet and saying ‘HEY I’m not going to accept sub-standard, boring, spark-less sex and relationships anymore.’
You’re a pretty cool lady.
So, now you know HOW AND WHY you should be using a sex life planner, fancy grabbing one? Of course you do!
When I was looking for a sex life planner I couldn’t find anything that came close to what I needed, so I created the ultimate version and now it’s FREE for you to use and re-use as much as you like.