Find out our advice for women for moving on from a past relationship or a break up. Learn how to support yourself to find sex and relationships that empower you!
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For some reason, we expect that once we get to a certain age, we will reach a certain level of maturity which will instantly make life easier.
We expect that this maturity will help us throughout our life and we expect to become masters of relationships because we have already learnt from our previous mistakes.
Unfortunately, this is not the case.
As we grow older life becomes more chaotic and the scars of yesteryear leave you battered, bruised and often with the feeling of being ‘damaged goods’.
Our pasts manifest themselves in ways which we cannot always imagine and we hold onto these scars so much so that they affect our relationship with ourselves and our relationships with others.
The trick is realising that these scars do not define you.
They make up who you are, in that they have enabled you to grow in ways you couldn’t have possibly imagined.
But they’re not scars they’re battle wounds- ones which you should be proud to display.
You have won this war, you have survived and look at you now!
These wounds are part of you, they are a part of your past but they are not all that you are. The only person who has the power to decide who you are is you. And equally, you are the only person who can let something get in your way.
Life gets crazy, people even more so, but it is important to remember the strength that comes with living because life is not easy.
Each wound you carry is a mark of strength and you should be proud of yourself but do not hold on to them, as that can do more harm than good.
It’s also important to remember that a partner can have scars too and they can affect you just as much as your own can. They can prevent both of you from moving on, together or separately, or even sometimes they can prevent you from taking the plunge into that magic fairy tale you have both envisioned together.
Things do not always turn out the way you expect, your wounds can get the better of you and you can feel awful crappy for an awful long time. And that’s okay, it sucks, but you will be okay!
Remember strength, not pain. Remember courage, not hurt.
And remember that love, no matter how scary it is, is an important part of what it means to have life.
Your past can often haunt you, but don’t let it (you have that power!). You will be doing a disservice to yourself and those around you if you do.
When someone wants to get to know you, let them. Don’t build an impenetrable wall of isolation and loneliness.
Take a breath, put on your big girl pants and remember that your past does not define who you are and you have a right to find happiness, love or whatever else it is that you desire.
But whatever you do, do not give up.
There is so much beauty in being you, the world is lucky to have you and The Good Sex is here to remind you of all this.