Bondage for Beginners: 10 Tips and Bondage Ideas

Bondage for Beginners: 10 Tips and Bondage Ideas

Discover bondage ideas and 10 tips for beginners that you can start using today! This is a guide to bondage for beginners: advice for every woman who's looking to have better sex and try something kinky in the bedroom!


(This blog may include affiliate links click here to read my full disclosure policy)


The definitions of “bondage” and “kink” are ever changing, what used to seem really alternative and exclusive is now more up for discussion and people are opting into new experiences all the time.

BUT if you’ve never engaged before, if "play" to you has always been quite “vanilla” then how can you dip your toe in? What is bondage for beginners?



Bondage for Beginners


So, let me start by stating I'm SUPER EXCITED you're considering bondage! As I always say to those ladies who reach out to me for extra support- trying new things is key to developing your sexuality.


Now that doesn't mean you need to grab a whip and start slinging it around your bedroom with zero consideration BUT it does mean you CAN look into this kind of stuff.


Particularly for long-term relationships looking outside your comfort zone and being open to trying something new is really great.


We didn’t come out of the womb knowing our turn on’s and off’s- it takes EXPERIENCE for those things to become apparent and so, bondage is just another way to explore sexuality and discover what feels good to you.


The First Step in Trying Bondage for Beginners


The first step in trying any bondage ideas is considering consent and conversation.


The two C's that evoke fear and boredom in everyone lately! BUT they are talked about continuously for a reason: they're super important to creating healthy and happy sex and relationships.


Consent and communication are the most important aspects of any sexual activity but particularly when exploring different sensations, engaging in unfamiliar play and creating new experiences you must speak to your partner about limits, boundaries and desires.


Related: Discover simple tips on how to talk to your partner about sex




How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Bondage Ideas


This is all well and good I hear you say, but how do you start a conversation about your bondage ideas and avoid it being the MOST AWKWARD CHAT ON EARTH?!


Some simple advice for talking to your partner about bondage:


  • Begin by talking about what’s intriguing to you about this kind of play and why you’d like to try it. Then progress to talking about specific interests and boundaries.

  • Talk at a rate that is comfortable for you and your partner and remember this is a rolling conversation. You don't just chat once and grab your nipple clamps! Leave the conversation open, and make sure your partner knows you're happy to talk further about your bondage ideas another time. This is a conversation that will be built on over time, even as you begin your kinky play.

  • Chat in a neutral space- not when you’re about to hop into bed, have just had an argument or when you’re in the middle sexy time.

  • Only talk when you're in a good frame of mind- be confident, be sober and be open. Don’t be defensive!

  • LISTEN. If all else fails just ask the question and listen. If you freeze and get super awkward, don’t back away just sit and take in what your partner’s telling you (and try to nod in the right places).


Related: For actual examples on how to start a conversation with your partner about your bondage ideas (and ANYTHING to do with your sex and relationships) click here! I've nailed it down to three easy steps for you!


Bondage for Beginners: The Best (Free!) Tool For You


To support you in trying bondage and having the BEST time I really recommend signing up to Fetish!


Fetish is a great website to use for research and connecting with like-minded individuals.

Fetish is a dating website for those interested in BDSM but it’s also a great resource for those looking to explore the community; with maps showcasing events and groups in your local area and a chat function for connecting and making new friends.


It also has a TON of information that is particularly useful for beginners to bondage (including bondage tips, bondage ideas, bondage positions etc).

The best thing about this website is that you don’t have to be ready to date to jump in or even know what you're doing- you can sign up for FREE and slowly inch your way into this kind of play.


Related: I wrote a full review of Fetish check it out here for more details!



Bondage for Beginners: Ten tips


So, I've been searching the world wide web and have come up with ten tips/ ten bondage ideas/ ten ways you can try bondage if you're a complete beginner!

1. Try Using Textures

Give your senses a thrill by introducing new textures into play. Think silk scarves and sheets, ice cubes, leather and feathers.

Focus on how they feel against your skin and how you/your partner’s body responds physically to touch.


Click here to find your first steps into bondage!





2. Practice Dirty Talk

There can be nothing more sexy than when you’re about to orgasm and your partner bends down and whispers sweet-but dirty as hell- nothings into your ear.

Think outside the box of “slut” “dirty bitch” and other typical porn inspired go-to’s, what would really drive your partner over the edge? What would make sex better? What would make it explosive?



3. Try Incorporating Some Spanking into Your Routine

Intentional impact play- rather than just smacking your partners ass now and again- can be a great step into BDSM. If you’re a beginner explore with your hand first, then venture into toys like floggers or riding crops.

Remember to start off light, and work up to harsher, thuddier feels; eventually finding your fit.

You could also incorporate biting and hair pulling if being rough is your thang!

Find your perfect spanking toy by clicking here!




4. Try Using Restraints

Handcuffs, rope, tape, soft bondage wrist cuffs, spreader bars…old ties, 50 denier tights and ripped bed sheets. The possibilities are endless and your fun can be too! Try kinky play by using some simple restraints.

Click here to find out what's on offer now.



5. Practice Power Play

Exploring the dynamics of dominance and submission can be a really erotic start to your kink life.

Restraints, blindfolds and sensation play are all ways you can give these roles a go to see what warms your cock(les).

And, don’t worry if you don’t fit exactly into one definition, as with everything else just go with whatever feels right for you and your partner.


Click here to find your perfect match!



6. Or, Practice Some Role play

Inside and outside of the bedroom role play can make for a better and more fun sex life!

Adding costumes and toys into the mix can heat things up inside; you could even go one step further arranging a “chance” meeting with your partner outside. Try somewhere different like a bar or hotel where no one knows you.

Role playing an actual encounter can add a vitality and excitement that helps keep relationships, and play, fresh and fun.


Click here to find your new role play outfit!



7. What About Orgasm Denial?

Like being told what to do? Dominating behaviour never felt so good as when you’re at the tip of the iceberg and you’re told you CANNOT and WILL NOT do something.

But…No, no buts and no orgasm until they say so.


Related: Learn more about orgasm denial and other ways you can freshen up your sex life with this blog!


8. Use Titles in the Boudoir

Having particular terms you and your partner use exclusively for each other and the bedroom can be super sexy. If being submissive is a turn-on try calling your partner “sir,” “mistress” or “master.”

Use the terms in texts throughout the day, or when out in public together, as a form of foreplay.


Related: How to Sext Successfully for the First Time!


9. Try Using Some (Good) Triggers

Similar to using titles to initiate play, you can trigger arousal by words, touch or memories.

This is especially good if you’re in public- keep it PG while in the grocery store though please!- start simply by asking your partner “remember when…” Or pre-determine a word or touch which means you want them NOW.

Trust me you will not be able to contain yourself when you’re walking around the local museum and your partner drops the *word* bomb and you know it’s on but no one else around has a clue.


10. If You're Ready For It: Try Wax Play

Part of sensation play, hot wax is another texture that feels amazing on the skin if played with correctly.

This isn’t one for beginners to bondage, but for that step up. Different candles produce different wax temperatures so it’s a good idea to do your research beforehand so you get the most out of this type of play.